see what you see

This week has been up and down...I ate more than I wanted too which makes me feel disgusting, however I plan on cutting it down this week.  I have changed my workouts a bit to where I burn more calories in the same amount of time which is great, I just ran into the problem of being tired and missed the gym a couple times this week, definitely need to not allow myself to rationalize not going to the gym.

I have a small problem with work, in that I reallly only have one person I hang out with from work anymore and she is a larger girl and has been getting me to eat lunch with her almost everyday, this needs to stop as these calories are what I need to cut out.  So if anyone has tips on how to avoid eating with her, yet still getting to spend time with her I would appreciate it!!!

My main motivation this week going on, is that the closest person to me in my life has this amazing way of making me feel beautiful when I'm around him.  He just says things in a way that not only makes me want to believe him, but for a little while I believe him and do feel beautiful.  However this wears off not long after we aren't together.  I want that feeling to last longer, and the way to do it is to actually get beautiful and thin.  I know he says that I am and points out he knows I don't believe him, but I know he is letting my personality cloud the way he looks at my body.  I know I am a good person, but I'm not beautiful on the outside like I want to be.  So this week my motivational saying is "I want to see what he sees" or rather I want to become beautful so that when he says I am I believe him.  I want to become what he thinks I am.  I am hoping to do gym workouts and go hiking as much as possible with my friends after work so that I don't have time to eat and also I don't want to eat at work.  Thus I will get rid of opportunities to eat without really focusing on it.  I also plan on starting to go on walks when I get home and feel hungry, because I have to be away from the chance to eat or else I will cave.

I hope you are all with me and that you are staying strong.  I want to be beautiful enough for someone like my friend (who is amazing and sexy) to want and love, but it must be earned.  Every calorie burned, is beauty earned!!