better

I have been doing a lot better this week.  I cut my calories way down, and when I did eat it was stuff that is easy and quickly digested.  I also made sure to burn extra calories everyday to do better.  When I weighed in this week I was down a little which is nice, though by no means enough.  I am getting excited about making my workouts harder and have been able to find mental ways to push myself when I get tired or want to slack off at the gym.

I also used my day off from the gym to go on a long hike with lots of climbing, which kept me from eating and also burned off calories and made my friends think I didn't workout.  My clothes are fitting loose which feels amazing and I want that feeling to keep growing so I really want to stick with things.  So any positive thoughts you want to send my way I would appreciate it :) 

I have been getting upset lately because I don't see anyone ever wanting me.  My friends all tell me I'm great and amazing, but if that were true wouldn't someone have chosen me by now?  I mean I'm around all these amazing people, and yet none of them chose me...and there sitting there telling me I'm amazing and sexy.  Obviously not sexy and amazing enough, since you didn't choose me.  Does anyone else run into this problem?  How do you deal with it?  How do you turn this into a motivating thing?  I've been using it in negative talk during workouts, telling myself if I was truly sexy I would have someone or that sexy people wouldn't quit or slack off at the gym.

I was just shooting hoops shirtless, trying to shame myself into not eating and it seems to be working.  I see all this nasty fat clinging to my body and making me look repulsive!!!  No one would want someone that has a body like me and seeing it in my shadow and knowing people are seeing it has added more motivation to my control.  Anyone have any other ideas of how to strengthen mental resolve?  Hope everyone is doing well and staying strong!!