New found strength

Hey :)  It's been forever since I posted and I'm sorry about that...I got out of control with eating and gaining and stress.  I have managed to get back on track with things and will be posting on here as much as possible again!

I have begun incorporating as much cardio into my routine as possible, and going directly from work to the gym so as not to talk myself out of workouts.  I am way down from where I was this spring and I'm getting lots of compliments, but it's nowhere near where I want to be.  Living a long way from my family is making it easier to get back into things, and only one person in my life now really knows about my previous use of Ana, so secrecy is needed.

I also need help with hiding it from work, as many people are always commenting on how I never eat or my standby excuse of "Oh thanks, but I'm not hungry" when they offer me food...is being thrown mockingly in my face.  Any tips on how to avoid suspicion at work?

My new motivations are being single of course, cause once I get perfection I can be good enough to be with someone!  Also the more I starve the more money I save to spoil my friends which I love to do :)  Also as petty as it is the thinner I get the better I feel and the more I feel superior to those I grew up around who were always thin and now are gaining weight as I lose it!  I'm a competitive person by nature, so turning it into a competition is helping me.  I need to up my water intake when I'm hungry as I cave a lot when I'm dehyrdrated.

Also any tips for excuses for things I could be doing besides working out, people are starting to comment on how I'm always working out and saying i need to take it easy...what are some good things I could be doing instead?  Any one have some workout tips...I'm always up for adding in new things :)

Today I burned 1,400 calories in cardio at the gym and did some ab workouts, then went on a five mile jog this evening to add to calories burned.  I'm hungry now, but going to drink a bunch of water before bed to fight off cravings.

I'm also trying to incorporate any kind of emotional crap in my life into motivation to workout more, or to resist food.  Anyone have any visualization tips they use or anything from when they have weak moments? 

Well I'm going to wrap up for today, but I'm going to switch how I use this blog...going to start writing out my thoughts as well as entire workouts for the day and anything I may have eaten.  Was super proud of myself tonight, after the gym I caved and was eating a turkey sandwich and was hating myself as I ate it...so I threw half of it away and then went running even though I had just gotten home from the gym!!!  Hope you all are staying strong and Anaing on!!!

~D