extra motivation

Hey all my Ana brothers and sisters!  Well i was considering not going to the gym today because i am tired...but a friend of me motivated me to go and i feel great.  I got added motivation while there by seeing some attractive people and seeing people i'm terrified to look like.  Also while I was there someone I was talking to and attracted to basically told me i'm too big for them to like.  On top of that my bestie is getting all this attention he doesn't want from guys....but it makes me jealous cause no one pays attention to me.  He just got a puppy today from a guy who is way into him but that he isn't into but can't figure out how to tell.  My bestie is about the size I want to be...so i guess that gives me more motivation because he is getting what i want without even trying.  People are noticing him and showering him with attention...which he deserves cause he is great.   But i want attention too and to have people want me.  I want to be beautiful...so I guess today is a good day because it's motivating me to stay strong.  I have to take something to work to eat cause my co-workers are getting suspicious so I am taking half a small apple...and 10 carrots.   I already feel bad about it, but I can't risk getting caught again.  SO I just have been sure not to take in any calories except those and I'll walk around on my lunch break and do an ab workout after I get home.  That should get rid of those nasty calories.  Hope you are all staying strong.  I could use a little help in staying strong so if any of you read this drop me a comment or something.