anger is desire

hey...so my bestie is amazing and fabulous.  All the guys notice him and he could pass off as straight.  I don't love him like that..though I love him as my family!!!   But I want the attention he gets....and I think the only way to get it is to lose the weight.  My goal of 115 makes him cringe and my other friends freak out....but i can do it I"m sure... please start writing me and helping me fight the battle of fat...I see fat people everywhere and i'm gaining weight again i'm sure.   I need some reassurance and help so please give me tips on how to keep my control....physically i 'm not hungry but fighting my mental battle is the issue.  I'm scared to gt hungry cause i get mean and I don't want to lose my job...pleease give me tips :) :) thanks and ana loves and appreciates you :) :)