dark days

I have been eating again which makes me mad and sad.  I lost a good friend of mine a few weeks ago and I couldn't even make it to the funeral.  This along with big changes coming in my life and constantly being lonely has made it hard for me to see the point in worrying and doing anything.  I am so tired of finding comfort in food and I just want my resolve to be strong to not eat and deal with things that way.  I can't seem to get a handle on it all, it's like a fish underwater I'll grip for a few seconds and then it slips away.  Things are spiraling out of control and I'm gaining weight and losing my enthusiasm to workout or even get through the days because it seems a bit pointless.  I will be trying to strengthen my resolve and not eat again for a few days, I'm told if I can get to day five without eating that it gets easier.  I'm aiming for five days and hope you all will be pulling for me!  Remember Ana loves us all and she will guide us to true beauty!!!  Stay strong my sisters and brothers....